I observed an argument between two people last week and with little effort, I remained calm and objective. This week I was the one in a disagreement and it wasn’t so easy to stay calm and neutral. I found myself getting angry that the other person was angry.
When someone uses feeling words to describe judgments and assumptions, it may sound like they are talking about their feelings, but they are actually talking about their negative, and often exaggerated thoughts. As a result, we feel judged and often misunderstood. We get angry that they’re angry.
In any relationship we can find ourselves upset or annoyed by another person’s behaviour. Often an open dialogue is enough to resolve our concerns. Sometimes however, our concerns are ignored or brushed off and we are left questioning our right to demand change.
Are you in an intense, passionate love affair with someone that’s bad for you but you can’t let go? Have you distanced yourself from a friend or family member because their roller-coaster relationship is exhausting and hard to watch? Why does a person insist they can’t live without someone who is clearly making them miserable?
I was in line one day at the airport when a woman arrived late and wasn’t permitted to board. She screamed obscenities at the West Jet representative, startling everyone within earshot. It’s rare to see this kind of verbal attack in public and between strangers; it usually happens at home and with people we love. 
For over thirty years self-esteem has been a top priority for educators and therapists. Despite efforts to improve self-esteem, it remains elusive.
Empathy and insight are vital to all social relationships and critical to our survival as a species. So why is it so hard to get compassion and understanding from some people?
Differences in communication styles creates misunderstandings between people. It breaks up marriages, causes conflict at work, and ends friendships. Direct and indirect people are often at odds with each other. 
This week I’ve had an influx of client’s going through a break-up. It’s heartbreaking because each person turns themselves inside and out agonizing over their ex’s parting gift; a list of all their faults and everything they ever did wrong.