Being a child means being dependent on others and having little control over what happens to you. If your vulnerability is protected, you spend your childhood learning life-skills that prepare you for adulthood. If you are not protected, you spend your childhood learning survival skills. Adulthood is either thrust on you too soon or catches you unprepared.
I am writing this post while vacationing in Mexico. It seems fitting to write about happiness in such a beautiful place. There was a time when all I thought I needed to be happy was all the things I didn’t have. Now I no longer pursue happiness. I appreciate when I am happy, but I appreciate more the times when I am at peace with myself and with the world.
Many of us are familiar with the slight mood swings that hormones, stress, or illness can cause. We are all capable of over-reacting occasionally and under certain circumstances. But for some people, significant mood swings are a part of their daily lives and it affects their self-esteem, relationships, and quality of life.
Are you in an intense, passionate love affair with someone that’s bad for you but you can’t let go? Have you distanced yourself from a friend or family member because their roller-coaster relationship is exhausting and hard to watch? Why does a person insist they can’t live without someone who is clearly making them miserable?
I was in line one day at the airport when a woman arrived late and wasn’t permitted to board. She screamed obscenities at the West Jet representative, startling everyone within earshot. It’s rare to see this kind of verbal attack in public and between strangers; it usually happens at home and with people we love. Continue reading “How to Survive a Verbal Attack”
Social anxiety is the fear of being judged by other people; but it’s not other people’s judgment we fear, it’s our own. If we can handle criticism and rejection without becoming devastated, we don’t fear social situations. Continue reading “Trust Yourself and Heal from Social Anxiety”
For over thirty years self-esteem has been a top priority for educators and therapists. Despite efforts to improve self-esteem, it remains elusive. Researchers now say we’re pursuing the wrong thing. We need to pursue self-acceptance, not self-esteem, if we want to feel better about ourselves. Continue reading “3 Easy Steps to Self Acceptance”
Empathy and insight are vital to all social relationships and critical to our survival as a species. So why is it so hard to get compassion and understanding from some people?
When I was eight years old I called a girl a bad name. She told me I was gonna be sorry, and I believed her. For the next three years I lived in dread; even after she moved away. Continue reading “Pain is Inevitable but Suffering is Optional”
Sometimes a person comes for counselling, not because they want to, but because someone else insists they improve their communication skills. Continue reading “Does Your Directness Get You in Trouble?”